Our earlier article on marriage and domestic partnership in Florida explained that VA spouse and survivor benefits generally require a valid marriage, and that registering as domestic partners does not change that. This article goes a level deeper. When a veteran's partner applies for survivor benefits, VA does not just ask whether there was a marriage. It asks when the marriage began, how long it lasted, where the couple lived, and whether they lived together until the end. Those details decide real money, and they are easy to overlook until it is too late to change them.

The marriage date and length matter

For Dependency and Indemnity Compensation, or DIC, the monthly benefit VA pays a surviving spouse when a veteran dies from a service-connected condition, the law sets a timing test. The surviving spouse must have been married to the veteran for one year or more, or married within fifteen years after the end of the service period in which the fatal injury or disease began, or have had a child with the veteran. (38 U.S.C. § 1304; 38 C.F.R. § 3.54(c).) A couple who marry a few weeks before a veteran dies, with no child, may fall outside all three.

Survivors pension, the needs-based benefit for the surviving spouse of a wartime veteran, has its own version of the test. The marriage must have started before a date that depends on the war period, or lasted one year, or produced a child. For Vietnam-era veterans, that date is May 8, 1985. For Gulf War veterans, it is January 1, 2001. (38 U.S.C. § 1541(f); 38 C.F.R. § 3.54(a).) For a couple who marry late in life, the practical question is often whether the one-year mark will be reached.

The eight-year add-on counts only the years you were married

DIC includes an extra monthly amount when the veteran was rated totally disabled for eight continuous years before death. The statute says "only periods in which the veteran was married to the surviving spouse shall be considered." (38 U.S.C. § 1311(a)(2).) VA publishes this add-on as a set monthly amount on top of the base rate, and the amounts are adjusted each December, so check VA's current DIC rate page for today's figures. A couple who lived together for twenty years but married in the last three may not qualify for it.

Where you married, and where you lived, controls

VA decides whether a marriage is valid under the law of the place where the couple lived when they married, or the place where they lived when the right to benefits arose. (38 U.S.C. § 103(c); 38 C.F.R. § 3.1(j).) It is not limited to the place where the ceremony happened.

For same-sex couples, VA has said that after Obergefell v. Hodges, 576 U.S. 644 (2015), it "may now recognize all same-sex marriages without regard to a Veteran's state of residence." Florida still prints a 1997 statute (§ 741.212) and a 2008 constitutional amendment (art. I, § 27) that refuse to recognize same-sex marriage. Those provisions remain on the books, but they cannot be enforced against a valid marriage after Obergefell, and VA does not apply them.

You may also run into the federal regulation that defines "spouse" as "a person of the opposite sex." (38 C.F.R. § 3.50.) That text has not been updated since 1997. VA does not apply it to same-sex spouses, and it should not be read as current law.

Registered domestic partnerships and civil unions are a different story. VA recognizes as marriages only those relationships that state law recognizes as marriages. A partnership registered with Broward County, however long it has lasted, does not make a partner a spouse for VA purposes. And because Florida bars new common-law marriages (§ 741.211), living together for decades does not either.

"Living together" is part of the test

A surviving spouse must generally have lived with the veteran continuously from the date of marriage to the date of death. (38 U.S.C. § 101(3).) This worries many families when a veteran enters a nursing home or hospital. The regulations help. A temporary separation does not break continuity, and a separation by mutual consent for health, convenience, or business reasons is not treated as a break. (38 C.F.R. § 3.53.) A move to memory care, in other words, does not by itself end a spouse's eligibility.

The "deemed valid" marriage is narrow

Federal law has a safety valve for people who entered a marriage believing it was valid when it was not, such as when a prior divorce was never finalized. If the claimant did not know of the legal impediment, lived with the veteran for at least a year (or had a child), and no legal spouse has been found entitled, VA may treat the marriage as valid. (38 U.S.C. § 103(a); 38 C.F.R. § 3.52.) That is a rescue for an honest mistake. It is not a way to turn a long relationship into a marriage when the couple never married.

What happens if the surviving spouse remarries

Remarriage affects benefits differently. A surviving spouse who remarries after age 55 or 57, depending on the benefit, keeps DIC and certain other benefits. A remarriage that later ends by death or divorce can also restore them. (38 U.S.C. § 103(d); 38 C.F.R. § 3.55.) But survivors pension is not on the list of protected benefits, so remarriage can end it. Eligibility for burial in a national cemetery generally survives remarriage. (38 U.S.C. § 2402(a)(5).)

Burial: the spouse is covered, the partner is not

A veteran's spouse can be buried in a national cemetery, even if the veteran died first, and a surviving spouse stays eligible even after remarrying. (38 U.S.C. § 2402(a)(5); 38 C.F.R. § 38.620(e).) The regulation does not list an unmarried partner as an eligible person.

VA also pays burial allowances to help with costs, and the amounts change from year to year, so check VA's current burial allowance page. A surviving spouse listed on the veteran's VA profile is generally paid automatically.

Florida adds its own spouse-only rules

Several Florida property tax exemptions for veterans' families follow marital status in the same way. The total homestead exemption for a disabled veteran passes to a spouse who holds title and lives in the home, until the spouse remarries or sells. (§ 196.081(3).) An exemption for the surviving spouse of a veteran who died from service-connected causes on active duty continues only while the spouse does not remarry. (§ 196.081(4).) A $5,000 exemption for disabled former service members extends to the unremarried surviving spouse. (§ 196.24(1).) A partner is not covered by any of them.

The same pattern shows up in decisions about the body after death. Florida's funeral and cremation law lists the person with legal authority in order. The decedent's own written directions come first, then the surviving spouse, then adult children, parents, siblings, and other relatives. A friend or partner appears only if no family member exists or is available. (§ 497.005(43).)

What to do about it

1. If you are unmarried and a veteran, ask whether marriage is right for you. It is a personal decision, not one to make only for a benefit, but timing matters. A marriage that lasts one year, or that produces a child, can meet the tests described above.
2. Do not count on a partnership registration or years of living together. Neither makes a partner a spouse for VA purposes.
3. Keep proof of the marriage and of where you lived. A certificate, address records, and evidence that you lived together all matter.
4. Plan for the gaps if you are not married. A will or trust, a durable power of attorney, a health care surrogate designation, and a written directive for your body and funeral arrangements let your partner act where the default lists would not.
5. Review these choices with a lawyer who handles both estate planning and veterans benefits. Eligibility rules differ by benefit and by service period, and dollar figures change each year.

We can help you plan

Marriage and veterans benefits is one of those areas where small facts, such as a wedding date or a move into a care facility, can change the outcome. The Law Office of Shawn C. Newman, P.A. helps individuals and couples line up their estate planning documents with the benefits they may depend on. Initial consultations are free and can be held at our office at 710 NE 26th St, Wilton Manors, FL 33305, or by Zoom.

Call us at (954) 563-9160 to schedule a time to talk. You can also learn more at www.shawnnewman.com.

Give us a call. We can help.

Disclaimer: This article is for general educational purposes only and is not legal advice. Reading it does not create an attorney-client relationship with the Law Office of Shawn C. Newman, P.A. Laws change, and every situation is different. Please consult an attorney about your specific circumstances before acting on any information here.

Selected authorities

• 38 U.S.C. §§ 101(3), 103, 1304, 1310, 1311, 1541, 2402
• 38 C.F.R. §§ 3.1(j), 3.5, 3.50, 3.52, 3.53, 3.54, 3.55, 38.620
• Obergefell v. Hodges, 576 U.S. 644 (2015)
• U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, "Important Information on Marriage" (va.gov/opa/marriage) and published DIC, survivors pension, and burial allowance rate pages
• Fla. Stat. §§ 196.081, 196.24, 497.005(43), 741.211, 741.212 (2026); Fla. Const. art. I, § 27